A Journey

What are cell phones good for?

2012-02-17T20:00:00.002-05:00

Well, obvisiously for my mother they make a great paper weight or at least an extra weight in her purse. Because she doesn't use them. Just talked to my brothers- yeah- both of them. I like to make sure that I get the entire story, so it's best to talk to both of them and see what they have to say.

But I digress, Dad ended up being taken to the hospital. Did she think to stop and call one of us. Any of us. She does have 3 shildren, but not a one has heard from her. We can't help her, or be there for her if she doesn't tell us what's going on.

It's frustrating. I think that she'd trying to protect us from what's going on. But unfortuntely we know what's going on. We know that Dad has Stage IV Renal Cancer. We know what that really and truly means. Maybe we'd prefer that we didn't but we do. We know. We all think it sucks. But we want to enjoy what we have left with out very own Grumpy Old Man!

We love them both, but she needs to learn that even if we are her children we are here for her.

...

2012-02-17T15:55:00.002-05:00

The best way to know something is to see it for yourself. And that's exactly what I plan to do. Here's hoping that I can handle what I see. I've got to admit that I"m scared and nervous about heading down to visit my folks. Stupid? Maybe. But I have to admit I'm scared to see my dad. It's been about 10 weeks since I saw him last. And 10 weeks for someone battling cancer can be a long time. I'm scare at what I might see. But I do know that I need to go down and visit them. I know that I want to see my dad, and that my mom can use the support.

So, I know that I've just got to do it. :)

Exhausted

2012-02-16T21:12:00.002-05:00

Physically, today has been a long day. And I'm tired, exhausted, but unfortunately, that doesn't mean that my mind is tired. And that causes problems. When my mind refused to rest, I can't go to sleep. I lay and I think to the wee hours of the morning. And needless to say, I don't think about flowers and puppy dogs. I have a tendency to think about the negative stuff, that I try not to dwell on all day. But unfortunately, at night all those thoughts come rushing in.

So even though, I want to go to bed, I just have to stay awake until I am mentally exhausted as well...

Who knows...

2012-02-15T23:05:00.002-05:00

that seems to be the run around with all the doctors. No one seems capable of telling us anything- I mean the man is going to 4 different doctors- but not one of them can figure it out. Sigh...

At least, they are finally trying to figure out what's going on, so at least that's a step, a small one, in the right direction. But I wonder if it's to little to late sometimes.

Today seemed to be a better day- I've been attempting to keep the stress at bay, not allowing it to get to me. Although, after I didn't hear back from my mom by 4pm I did start to get a little worried. Dad's test were scheduled for 8am. Ends up that it took all day to get the test completed. They had to sedate him, in order to get him to lie on his back- which he didn't do well even under sedation. Hmmm...I wonder why, could it be that he's had a bad back for years, or the difficulty breathing, or maybe it the cancer in his spine. I'd think any one of those would make it difficult- but throw all three together, and well that's be a barrel of fun now wouldn't it?!

But the test is done, and he's finally home. So that's all good. I'm glad that he's back where he belongs. I have a rather negative mind some days- and had already had him in the hospital with something horrible. Fortunately, I have an over active imagination.

So I just need to get and keep everyone healthy so I can go down and visit him. Oh, and keep the snow between here and there at bay. :) That might work hu?

My plate is full

2012-02-15T11:31:00.002-05:00

but more just keeps piling on it. Or at least that's how I feel. You've got my dad's issues, not just cancer, but the heart problems, high chol, and blood pressure, and just all around bad health. My mother isn't feeling well, and everything is left to fall on her, or my brothers who are both in poor health as well. (My being 6 hours away isn't much help to them.)

Then I've got things to deal with here. It gets a bit crazy here as well. I'm trying to find a pediatric pulmonologist to get my 14yo dd into. We are currently scheduled with a local one in May. It looks like I might be able to get her into another one, a 2 hour drive away-in the next several weeks- but it'll be worth it. She can't breath well- and I'm not just going to wait.

I'm also trying to get her scheduled in to see someone in regards to diagnosis her dyslexia. I don't want to wait until she's ready to head off to college.

Speaking of college- I've got one getting ready for that as well. FAFSA, and all the hoops that you have to jump through. SIgh... glad that my dh is taking care of most of that. But still have you looked at the cost of college? His three favorites range from $25-$68,000 a year! Fortunately, he seems to be a smart kid and doesn't want to go to far in debt to get an education. And he's willing to try to help himself out- he's looking for a summer job. He's already applied, so that's good.

Yeap, through in my dh and my "baby" who will be turning 9 this weekend! And don't forget about my job not only as a home school teacher, but as a Weight Watchers leader. I think my plate is very full. And I need God. So I'm trying to get back where I should be.

Here's hoping that your plate isn't overflowing. Or if it is- God's handling the biggest part of it!

If it isn't one thing...

2012-02-14T18:22:00.003-05:00

it's another. Hopefully, we'll learn in a day or two if my dad has congestive heart failure or not. But it's certain looking that way. And it just makes my heart hurt all the more. :( He's had breathing trouble for over a month, but none of his doctors seem to be able to be in charge or for that matter to work together in his care. So after already seeing the oncologist, and the kidney doctor, today he visits his family doctor. Who once hearing the complaint- sends him off for x-rays and to the cardiologist. Unfortunately, do to his inability to breath deeply while laying flat- he can't do the require echo or stress test. Sigh....

And tomorrow he's off to get a bone biopsy done- if they don't have to have him lie flat. :(

Honestly, I don't even know what to do. God seems to keep tossing me into the wringer.

God

2012-02-14T10:07:00.002-05:00

I've haven't talked to Him, or bothered to listen for Him in what seems like years. I'm angry and I'm pissed. And I've been hating myself and Him, for quite a while now. But the thing is, at least for me that hating/anger at God doesn't really help me to heal. And that's what I'm looking for.

I searching for a way to deal with all this pain and hurt and despair that's keeps welling up inside me. I keep beating it back down, trying to ignore it. It's not like I haven't faced this type of heartache before. I've been there and done this other times. But this one, well, it's closer and more personally then most of the others have been. And to be honest, February is a rough month for me personally.

Why, am I so filled with anger and hate. My dad is dying of cancer. I don't think that my dad has admitted it oh that much. He's said a few things here and there but we have all pretty much avoided it. But he's in stage IV renal cancer, that has already metastasized (spread) to his bones. And currently, the stuff in his bones is still active.

So why would cancer, even in my daddy cause me to hate God. Or even be angry at him? Because I'm so sick of it. I've grown up with cancer, surrounded by it. My dad is one of 6 children, 5 living to adulthood. My dad is the last of his siblings to have cancer. He is the only one still alive. Everyone of them have died from it. And I have watched it happen. And I'm tired of it, and I don't want to see it again. But it is.

I've seen each of my aunts and uncles suffer through there battle. My dad's oldest sister was the first to contract cancer. She had bone cancer.

She was more like a grandmother to me then an aunt. Two of her own grandchildren were older then me. So I loved her differently then the others-more deeply. (It also didn't hurt that I had always looked like her-something that I was told repeatedly at her viewing.) I saw her at least once a week up until her death.

She was a fierce believer in God. She loved Him deeply, but still she suffered and died. Perhaps, I can share more about this amazing woman. But I do know that all the way to the end she loved God. And I want to too. But I just don't know how to anymore. I'm tired.

She had bone cancer.

Next my uncle developed lung cancer, and died. His fight wasn't nearly as long.

Then my father's oldest brother developed cancer too. Soon he was gone as well.

Then my remaining aunt's husband got brain cancer. She cared for him up to the end. Then he passed away. A while later she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She also turned to God, and fought a the good fight against it as well. But she like all the rest died of cancer.

And now it's come for my father. I hate cancer.

Mind Numbing

2012-02-13T21:50:00.002-05:00

That's what I've been doing lately. After talking to my mom, which I try to do daily- sometimes, stuff that she's said is just a bit much to handle. Or I've been reading more about cancer on the internet. So sometimes, I just need to veg my mind. Today was one of those days.

Last night caused the problems. I wasn't able to sleep, so my mind did its rambling vision of the future. Those pictures just seem to make me sad. So today, I spent most of the day, just not thinking.

And I have to say that I think I did pretty well too! I spent over 5 hours just watching tv. Catching up on all the old episodes that I've missed in the last several weeks. Ate a couple slices of pizza, and had some wine. If that doesn't help numb you brain, I don't know what will.

See, but the problem is that as the night goes on, I have a tendency to start to think. As I lay in bed, my mind races, and won't stop. My stress rises, and I think that my heart is going to pound out of my chest. (It's not a heart attack, but rather a panic/stress attack.) Not fun. So I get my meds and try to wear my mind out before I go to bed. Sometimes it works, sometimes not so well.

I'm hoping that this and all that mindless Zumba Blitz that I play on fb will help numb my mind- cause I just don't feel like dealing with it all tonight. I just don't. (Throw in a sick kid or two, and a sick dh, and well you get the picture.)

Anyway, I'm off for some more mind numbing. Later

Sadness...

2012-02-12T16:44:00.002-05:00

We were suppose to be in Ohio today. So that we would get a chance to visit with my parents. But we aren't. So I go another day without getting to see my dad. Who is battling cancer.

I feel like I am failing him, by not being there. By not seeing him. By not being able to hlep my mom with dealing with all this stuff.

I just feel sad. And guilty too.

My Birthday!

2012-02-01T08:55:00.002-05:00

Well, there you have it! Today is my birthday! And don't you dare ask how old! Why, cause I usually don't remember unless I have one of my kiddos around. Then they will be sure to let you know.

My youngest is the favorite in answering this questions, as he usually knocks off about 5 or more years- gotta love that boy! The others remember to well.

I think my cousin posted something great, pretty soon, my ds will be older then I am! How's that! I think 21 sounds like a wonderful age. Okay- maybe I should go with something a bit older. Hmmmm... I'll have to think on it some more.

Well, I'm off to have myself a happy birthday! Hugs!

Reality

2012-01-31T13:43:00.002-05:00

Sometimes, it's nice to be able to avoid reality, but then other times it just kinda comes up and bitch slaps us. That my friend is where I am. Reality has just slapped me.

This reality took the form of an early birthday greeting (text) from my younger brother. Love him to death. He thinks of me, and loves me. I get that, plus he loves making fun of me, I'm 3 years and 8 days older then him. So I get that too. I just wanted to throw this out, that I am in better shape then him- yea, I'm petty like that!

Anyway, after his good natured jabs at me for being older. He asked when I was next planning on visiting. I want to get down soon, but have 2 sick kids- so when your father has cancer, it's not something that you want to expose him to. I let my brother know this.

He understood, but encouraged me to come soon. And you all know what that means don't you? It means that he's not doing so well. My mom, who I talk to nearly ever day or every other has wanted to take him to the ER twice in about the last week. (No one has said anything to me.) And according to my brother, he's not looking so good, and is stumbling more. :(

He's suppose to get his PET scan results tomorrow- oh happy birthday- and we're not so sure that they are coming back with any positive news. We're hopeful, but realistic as well. And if it isn't positive, he's decided he's done.

We've done this cancer thing numerous times, both of his brothers, both of his sisters, and one bil- all died of cancer. We know what it look like, we see the signs. And they aren't pretty.

And I'm stuck 6 hours away. Cancer SUCKS.

2010-03-21T09:23:00.001-04:00

"If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?" — Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

12 things I wished I'd known...

2010-03-20T20:42:00.003-04:00

Ever think of visiting an Orthodox church? Well, if you have ever wanted too this is a great place to start. http://www.frederica.com/12-things/ It'll give you a little insight to what goes on inside our church.

2010-03-10T20:30:00.002-05:00

"Monasticism keeps alive in an unadultered way the experience of the Christ. It is the space within which a human being is liberated from all biological and worldly concerns to redirect their focus and energy toward an exclusive preoccupation with the reality of God."

Visiting a monastery is one of the most peaceful places that you can experience.

Saint Patrick

2010-03-08T18:49:00.000-05:00

Commemorated on March 17

Saint Patrick, the Enlightener of Ireland was born around 385, the son of Calpurnius, a Roman decurion (an official responsible for collecting taxes). He lived in the village of Bannavem Taberniae, which may have been located at the mouth of the Severn River in Wales. The district was raided by pirates when Patrick was sixteen, and he was one of those taken captive. He was brought to Ireland and sold as a slave, and was put to work as a herder of swine on a mountain identified with Slemish in Co. Antrim. During his period of slavery, Patrick acquired a proficiency in the Irish language which was very useful to him in his later mission.

He prayed during his solitude on the mountain, and lived this way for six years. He had two visions. The first told him he would return to his home. The second told him his ship was ready. Setting off on foot, Patrick walked two hundred miles to the coast. There he succeeded in boarding a ship, and returned to his parents in Britain.

Some time later, he went to Gaul and studied for the priesthood at Auxerre under St Germanus (July 31). Eventually, he was consecrated as a bishop, and was entrusted with the mission to Ireland, succeeding St Palladius (July 7). St Palladius did not achieve much success in Ireland. After about a year he went to Scotland, where he died in 432.

Patrick had a dream in which an angel came to him bearing many letters. Selecting one inscribed "The Voice of the Irish," he heard the Irish entreating him to come back to them.

Although St Patrick achieved remarkable results in spreading the Gospel, he was not the first or only missionary in Ireland. He arrived around 432 (though this date is disputed), about a year after St Palladius began his mission to Ireland. There were also other missionaries who were active on the southeast coast, but it was St Patrick who had the greatest influence and success in preaching the Gospel of Christ. Therefore, he is known as "The Enlightener of Ireland."

His autobiographical Confession tells of the many trials and disappointments he endured. Patrick had once confided to a friend that he was troubled by a certain sin he had committed before he was fifteen years old. The friend assured him of God's mercy, and even supported Patrick's nomination as bishop. Later, he turned against him and revealed what Patrick had told him in an attempt to prevent his consecration. Many years later, Patrick still grieved for his dear friend who had publicly shamed him.

St Patrick founded many churches and monasteries across Ireland, but the conversion of the Irish people was no easy task. There was much hostility, and he was assaulted several times. He faced danger, and insults, and he was reproached for being a foreigner and a former slave. There was also a very real possibility that the pagans would try to kill him. Despite many obstacles, he remained faithful to his calling, and he baptized many people into Christ.

The saint's Epistle to Coroticus is also an authentic work. In it he denounces the attack of Coroticus' men on one of his congregations. The Breastplate (Lorica) is also attributed to St Patrick. In his writings, we can see St Patrick's awareness that he had been called by God, as well as his determination and modesty in undertaking his missionary work. He refers to himself as "a sinner," "the most ignorant and of least account," and as someone who was "despised by many." He ascribes his success to God, rather than to his own talents: "I owe it to God's grace that through me so many people should be born again to Him."

By the time he established his episcopal See in Armargh in 444, St Patrick had other bishops to assist him, many native priests and deacons, and he encouraged the growth of monasticism.

St Patrick is often depicted holding a shamrock, or with snakes fleeing from him. He used the shamrock to illustrate the doctrine of the Holy Trinity. Its three leaves growing out of a single stem helped him to explain the concept of one God in three Persons. Many people now regard the story of St Patrick driving all the snakes out of Ireland as having no historical basis.

St Patrick died on March 17, 461 (some say 492). There are various accounts of his last days, but they are mostly legendary. Muirchu says that no one knows the place where St Patrick is buried. St Columba of Iona (June 9) says that the Holy Spirit revealed to him that Patrick was buried at Saul, the site of his first church. A granite slab was placed at his traditional grave site in Downpatrick in 1899.

http://ocafs.oca.org/FeastSaintsViewer.asp?SID=4&ID=1&FSID=100821

Archangel Voices - Lamentations: Orthodox Chants of Holy Week

2010-03-08T18:43:00.000-05:00

Archangel Voices - Lamentations: Orthodox Chants of Holy Week

Take a listen-it's beautiful and moving!

Lenten Countdown

2010-03-08T18:27:00.002-05:00

Unfortunately, I've been struggling with my faith quite a bit of late. It's been a trail that I have chosen not to deal with. Ignorance is bliss...but sometimes, one is forced to see what is in front of them whether or not we want to.

And in my life- this is called the celebration of Great Lent. Great Lent is the preparation for the celebration of the Risen Christ. It is during this time that we as Orthodox Christians prepare ourselves for blessed Pascha. We do this through, prayer, fasting, and alms giving.

I've been needing a wake-up call. And thus far, Great Lent has brought a tremendous blessing to my pitiful life. Although, I still have far to go-I have begun. This year, Lent has been a major blessing to me.

http://www.oca.org/OCchapter.asp?SID=2&ID=66 This will tell you a bit more about Eastern Orthodox Great Lent. And if you have any questions- let me know!

Well, I did promise...

2009-12-10T07:36:00.003-05:00

alright back to my wonderfully warm- no snow vacation. Ahhh...

After a tediously long drive-we finally reached our destination! The sunny, warm, spring like Florida. The first day we spent down in Tampa BAy enjoying all that Busch Gardens had to offer. We had a beautiful time and enjoyed the park. The big surprise was that Jack Hanna was there- unfortunately, we weren't able to catch his show. (You all know who Jack Hanna is right? Have you seen The Tonight Show, back with Carson? Or even the Letterman show? Yeap= that's him! He's from the Columbus Zoo in good old Ohio!)
Anyway back to my story! Well, Busch Gardens was lovely- but I was dying for the next day- our first day at Disney! Even though I'm a grown-up Disney does something magical to you. It truly makes you feel like a kid again! And well, I'm not that far from being a kid everyday- so this is my place!

We've already decided to get there nice and early as we want to be there when the park opens-but we have to check in before we go, in order to get our tickets. So at 7:30 a.m. I'm the only one there-no line- loving it already. I go to the desk to check in-now here is where it starts getting sticky-but I won't learn this until 12+ hours later. I've reserved 2 connecting rooms-this was done so my family can all sleep comfortably-in the Value Resort. (We chose the Value Resort-cause it's much cheaper- and to be honest we were only planning on sleeping there-we are amusement park nuts!)

Well, my connecting rooms are quite ready for me- it is after all 7:30 in the morning. I totally understand, not a problem. We'll just stop in later tonight to get the numbers. So off we go...

Our first day was spent visiting Epcot. It's as much fun as I remember. I've gotten the kids a mess of trading pins-plus made a special autograph book for the younger two. The day is well perfect! DH suggest after dinner that we might want to head back to the room early-big day tomorrow (9am-12midnight).

Now here is were the trouble starts. We stop by the front desk again- I get our room numbers and off we go. Tired but happy after enjoying the fun and food Epcot had to offer.

Open our door to our room-no connecting door. Nope- nothing. I grab the phone and call front desk. "We can't guarantee a connecting room" Gee, maybe you should have told me this about 6 months ago, or even this morning when I checked in. Needless to say, I am quickly becoming not a happy camper. DH is beginning to become upset- and so are the children. So off I go to the front desk-

Oops! the rest will have to wait-need to get ready for work!

Vacation remembering

2009-12-07T20:36:00.002-05:00

Ahh...the joys of vacation! I can't believe that we've been home from vacation for so long. Oh- how I long to have that 70+ degree weather. That beautiful sun light shining, wrapping me in its warmth. But, now I'm back to freezing my butt off in cold old Michigan!

Anyway, back to Florida. Although, the trip was a long one- about 18 hours in total one way. We started out with staying over night in Lexington Ky- then on to Atlanta GA. In Atlanta, we stopped to visit the Georgia Aquarium, World of Coke Cola nad Mideval Times, and had an awesome burger at the Varsity! It's a greasy spoon- but well worth the visit.

Then after 2 days in Atlanta- it was time to head to Florida. We started out our visit with Busch Gardens in Tampa Bay. Then the next 6 days were spent at Disney. A visit to Sea World. And wrapped it up with 2 day at Universal Studios. Phew! Made it to Thanksgiving in Augusta, GA with a dear friend. But it was a beautiful time-all except for that one night.

Ever notice how there is always one point where everything isn't as good as we would hope? well- we had that too. Let's leave it as we all were ready to leave Florida and come home. Yeap- it was that bad! But you 'll have to wait and see what it was! I'm tired so it's time to get off and do something else!

Have tons to share

2009-12-01T08:54:00.002-05:00

but am feeling pretty bad. I decided to catch a cold-on our way home from vacation! So all those wonderful stories that I'd love to relate will have to wait. I'm drinking my hot tea- resting on the couch trying to feel better soon! I've got work 2 days this week. And a Christmas party as well! (Which I guess, I'm teaching some card making stuff! Hope they don't expect to much, unless I feel tons better!)

I will tell you this much- know how you feel when you are under the weather? How tired you are, slow moving? Well, that's my life before my pacemaker! Getting ill kinda freaks me out, cause I'm scared that my pacer isn't working right. Dh tells me it's just a cold and that everyone feels like this when they are sick. This does explain why when I got sick all I did was sleep!

Hoping to regale you with stories of my vacation soon!

Sleeping Early---

2009-11-22T20:54:00.002-05:00

It's not even 9pm yet my family and I are all tucked away safe and sound and ready for bed! A little early? So true- if you aren't dragging your butt out of bed every morning at 5:30 or 6am! And these are all walking days! I swear I've put in more miles in the last week or so then I have done with all my running! (Or at least it feels like it!)

Been walking at least 12 hours a day on average-today was a slow one- we were only put and about from 8:30am to 4:30 pm. Sea World is a bit smaller then Disney! But I'm sure we'll make up for it tomorrow!

Have to tell you- I've always thought about moving down this way. Ummmm... no- way to humid here today. It's a beautiful place to visit but I don't want to live here!

Oh guess what else! I got an award. Sad thing is I don't know what/how to do with it. I know, I'm sad- I really need to have a few friends over and get some blogger lessons! I want a seet page, but... Oh well- it'll have to do for now.

:) good night Gracie!

Still kicking!

2009-11-15T20:53:00.001-05:00

Well-I've got to admit that my Nano has dropped off to nil. But I kinda expected that. Will it ever get going again- well maybe not in time for Nano- but I am hoping to keep up the writing from here on out.

Other then that- the last several days have been fun- but I'm tired! So that's it for now!

Worn Out!

2009-11-13T17:38:00.002-05:00

Why oh why- does it wear you out when you travel? It just seems to wipe my butt- Have you ever really just sat and thought about it. It's not like you are really doing much of anything- just riding around-stopping every once in a while to pee or grab something to eat.

But man it can wipe my butt! And I still have more to do! But it'll be fun. Just gotta relax and let the good times role. If only I had been able to sleep night last- my little one kept rolling off the bed-a loud thump! Not a fun way to wake up! Oh well- at least that makes sense- the being worn out part.

Off to see what other mischievousness I can get into to!

Birthdays

2009-11-10T08:45:00.002-05:00

I have another confession to make- I stink at getting cards out in time for birthdays. And the sad thing is that I know this. I have a wonderful sil- she is a blessing to me. She married my little brother, what was she thinking? But I digress-I know her bd is one month after her dh. November 8th! But did I get her card out in time- no! Did I call her? No! I so suck at this!

The thing is that I've never really told her how much she means to me and my family. I just hope she knows it. Maybe I should take the time and let her know. Okay, I know I should. But...

I do however know what I'm going to get her for her Christmas present! And I think she'll love it! Shhh... don't tell- it's a Disney charm for her Pandora braclett. She loves eeyore!

Monday, Monday

2009-11-09T09:42:00.003-05:00

Here's a little Monday , Monday for you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3zSV19AksQ

Why do I love the Mamas and Papas? Well, I have to let you in on a little secret- I've always had a crush on one of the Mamas & Papas. What can I say I'm a rebel. I love their music. And well- Denny was always so cute! So do you have any secret confessions about being in love with a music icon?

Oh and did you happen to know that I Saw Her Again- is about Denny and Michelle's affair? Yeap- she was still married to John at the time. And we all know that Cass was in love with Denny too! Rock men- what do they do to women?

Maybe the Banger sisters make more sense? :) or not!

Weekend

2009-11-08T22:34:00.002-05:00

Here's a question for you all- where did the weekend go? Last thing I seem to remember is that it's Friday evening- now it's Sunday- 10:30pm! What happened to my weekend. I think my mom was actually right- time does go quicker when you are an adult. ( Was going to say grown-up but if you know me- you 'll know that I' certainly not a grown up!)

Well- other then my lost weekend-not to much else to report. I'm still trying to get all my words in order and accomplish something with NaNo. I have decided to try domething new though. I'm going to keep writing all year- or at least that's the goal. Takes 21 days to make a habit-So here we go! And you can too!

To much to do- but not enough time

2009-11-06T11:08:00.002-05:00

If you are breathing- you can probably agree with my above sentiment. There always seems to be multiple things that need your attention, from basic everyday chores, to Christmas crafts, to your lovely children and even your darling husband.

But every once in a while we need to make time for ourselves. If not we are likely to face a great big crash when we've burned out from helping everyone else- but not taking time for us. Unfortunately, we women have a tendency to have an overwhelming sense of guilt associated with taking some "me" time. Is this you? Or do you know someone this resembles?

You probably do- most woman will gladly sacrifice themselves for what they consider the good of the family. But is it really in the best interest of the family- if mom is lost within herself? If mom isn't healthy-mentally, physically, or spiritual will her family be?

So moms- it is up to you to take the time that you need to be yourself. To have your own space-your own thoughts, your own feelings. Don't let yourself become trapped within the prison of your own making. It's tough to break free.

Morning

2009-11-04T07:50:00.000-05:00

The best time in the day for me is now! Yeap- early in the a.m. The quietness of the house, the gentle swish of the washing machine, and the sleep of the children. Ahhhh... one must enjoy those peaceful moments when you can. Because, I know that sooner or later one of those little monsters of mine will emerge from the bedroom- and our day will begin in earnest. And so will the shouting, running, teasing, nerve racking joy that children bring!

So here is to the peaceful moments of bliss- that one must appericiate when one can!

Smile- it can get worse!

2009-11-03T08:26:00.003-05:00

Every have one of those days? Yeap- well me too! I think it must have been yesterday! After getting all the errands done-(yeah) I had to take my "baby" to the dentist. See- he had a baby tooth that just wasn't going to come out-no matter what we tried.

So off to the dentist-topically numbing agent-all good right? Not with my kid! The dentist attempted to pull it out- well- let's just say it wasn't numb enough for my boy! Went crazy- started screaming, crying, bucking-not a pretty picture. But the thing is- that you probably don't know about me is that I react oddly when my kids are in pain/discomfort. I laugh. Yeap- makes me a terrible mother- but that's how I swing! There is my baby freaking out- and me laughing. The dentist didn't know what to make of it.

Once we were both able to come down enough-I was able to talk him into getting it finished. A little more sleepy juice on his tooth- and out it came. He was happy with the whole enterprise once it was done- he not only got a buck from the tooth fairy- but a Webkinz out of the deal. So I bribed him- it worked didn't it?

Then a quiet evening at home to Nano- right? Not in my house! The baby is hacking from all the mucus/blood that he swallowed when he refused to open up at the dentist office-(he's one of those kids who can barf just for fun I think!) And then- my dd informs me the kitchen sink is dripping.

Dh who had brought work home- went over to have a look. He popped the handle off in his hand! (this is our 3 kithcen spicket in as many years) The water shot straight up to the ceiling-he's trying to hold it back-and yelling at us to shut it off. We're throwing stuff out from under the sink- trying to find the shut off. Plus- did I mention it was the hot water? Finally, dh couldn't stand the heat- let it go-a fountain of water bubbled forth. I finally reached the shut off- behind the garbage disposal- (why behind the disposal I haven't a clue).

After we sopped up the mess- I hauld water in a bucket to wash the dinner dishes! God bless those pioneer women- not fun- and I only had feet to go! But finally the day came to an end- with a warm bath and a cold Corona!

Now it's time to get a new spicket!

And maybe some Nano- today?

Can I do it?

2009-11-02T16:47:00.000-05:00

Well, the month of November is uupon and what exactly does that mean? Time for extreme writing! It's NaNoWriMo! And it's an experience. The only thing is that I've tried for the last couple of years- but haven't accomplished it yet- will this year be any different? Only time will tell- so are you NaNoing?

2009-10-02T08:54:00.002-04:00

Ever not have enough time in the day? Well, that's how my life has started to feel, as if there just aren't enough hours to spare. So something has to give... and I'm going to gasp try to limit my on-line time! Yes! I have so many other things that need to get done- but just sit and suffer. So...I need to devote that time to them.

But if you stick around- I'll try and show you the results! I'm taking a cue from a sweet blogger I know- maybe I'll be able to make a few neat things too!

So...

2009-09-16T13:10:00.003-04:00

"For years I did not know, in fact I never knew the meaning of repentance, but now I am aghast at my own insignificance[...]. At Nastia's side I feel that my soul has meandered down back alleys all my life. And now I want an authentic and purified road, not out of faith in life, but in order to justify, understand and accept death[...]. No amount of thought will ever result in any greater formulation than the three words, 'Love one another', so long as it is [love] to the end and without exceptions. And then the whole of life is illumined, which is otherwise an abomination and a burden." Pearl of Great Price The LIfe of Mother Maria Skobtsova 1891-1945

I've recently started to read the above mentioned book. It's a moving book concerning the life of Mother Maria. She started out as a Russian aristocrat. And died in one of the many death camps in WWII.

A special children's book was written to tell of her doings during WWII.

by Jim Forest and illustrated by Dasha Pancheshnaya

Silent as a Stone memorializes the life of Mother Maria Skobtsova, an unconventional nun who aided the persecuted Jewish people in occupied France during WWII.

Confronting the horror of Nazi brutality, Mother Maria devised an ingenious plan to save Jewish children destined for extermination camps: Paris garbage collectors, upon her urging, hid the children in trash cans and whisked them to safe havens outside the city.

Mother Maria, for her selfless rescue activities, perished in a gas chamber in Ravensbrück camp in Germany in 1945. Today, she is among the “righteous gentiles” honored in Israel and a canonized saint in the Orthodox Christian Church.

Wouldn't you know it?

2009-09-15T08:32:00.002-04:00

Doesn't it always seem to happen? Guess who forgot to charge the camera battery yesterday- before church? Yeap! Me! That started off the morning on the wrong foot- but church made the whole day better.

But phew! Today's trying to surpass yesterday! Shampoo spilled on library books- 2 kids under the weather-my car is acting up, but it was just in yesterday-dh is in business meetings all day today! - and a cell phone bill that just isn't right!

Said my prayers- looked at everything again- and you know what, it isn't so bad. I have beautiful kids- even when they don't feel well. The library books will smell so pretty when they dry! If something is wrong with the car- well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I'll miss dh all day- but be so happy to see him tonight! And I'm a big girl I can deal with the cell phone people it's their mistake!

Plus, I got so see a beautiful picture of 3 beautiful little boys! The youngest being a newborn! I miss them all so much. And their sweet parents too! Nakita, Ilya, and Makhail (Misha for short). I'm not even sure where they are now- but last time I heard they were in the Ukraine.

So if you are having a bad day- or maybe even a good day- just take a minute and love on all those around you! Cause they aren't going to be around you forever. Appericiate it them-it'll make the day brighter- not only for you but for them as well!

Elevation of the Cross

2009-09-14T07:50:00.000-04:00

On our way to church today! Yes, I know it's a Monday- but today is the Elevation of the Cross! So it's time to get going. Maybe I'll remember to take a few pics and share with you?!

Phew!

2009-09-11T22:10:00.002-04:00

The first day of our local home school co-op went wonderfully. Not sure as to why I get so stressed on preparing for it. The classes went beautifully- and the kids were all great! YEAH!

I have to say that it's interesting to be teaching the older group. Something new that I am enjoying. But I have to confess- I miss all my little ones. They have such a love of life that they can inspire you to just be around them.

But the conversations that I can hold with the teens is interesting. And hopefully, will be mentally stimulating to them. And perhaps challenging as well. At least that's my hope. I want them to come away from my class (WWII) thinking. Engaging that brain that they all have!

Shut Up

2009-09-10T07:38:00.002-04:00

Ever have something to say- but bite your tongue and keep your mouth shut? Well, I have a feeling that I'll be having a mouth full of blood tomorrow! Why you ask? Go ahead- ask why? The president's speech. Yeap- the one that he gave to American school children on Tuesday. I thought that he did a fine job. According to my ds- he's just saying the same things that ds's father and I have been telling him for years! LOL

Anyway- I know of some, who no matter how unpolitical the president's speech was, will find (and did find) fault with it. Numerous items in fact. My personal favorite was comparing President Obama to Hitler. Yes- Hitler. It seems unfortunate that many fail to realize that both President Reagan and Bush gave speeches to America's youth. (Now I do know that the opposition whined about it then too- but Hitler? Com'mon that's a bit much!)

Okay- vent over- until tomorrow at least. Maybe nothing will be said- but needless to say I doubt it. I wonder if I take my i-pod if I can tune it all out? Well, only time will tell.

A new beginning

2009-09-08T09:33:00.004-04:00

Well, that's what I've decided to do! I'm going for a whole new beginning. In what? EVERYTHING!

First thing I need to figure out is how to tweak this blog to make it mine!~ Cause to be truthful, it's kinda boring. It isn't me-iykwim. So if you have any blog advice on how to make it mine- give me a shout.

What I want to add:
Pictures
more colors
wild ideas
links
little widgets (i think that what they are called)

What do you want to see?
Can't wait to hear what you think!
HUGS!

2009-09-04T22:21:00.002-04:00

Let's try this again, shall we! Doesn't look like I can make it work! Oh well-if you are game just go for a visit and see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opcL3Lo7o5Y&feature=related

Hee Haw & WWII

2009-09-04T22:09:00.002-04:00

What does Hee Haw and WWII have in common? Absolutely nothing! But after immersing myself in research for my WWII class- I needed a bit of a pick me up. And what did I find that worked? That's right- Hee Haw!

Hee Haw is one of my many fond memories from childhood. And can you think of a better way to smile then singing along to "Where, oh where are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone? I searched the world over and thought I found true love, you met another and " phhhht "you was gone!"

If you're not a fan- maybe you should check out this! :)

Death and Facebook

2009-08-19T07:46:00.002-04:00

Yeap- that's right, death and facebook! Guess, how I learned of the latest death in the family? If you guessed facebook- you win!

Does it bother me that I learned about it this way? I have to admit- not really. Does that make me a cold person? Who knows? Death has touched my family so much that it doesn't seem to have the effect on us, as it might others. There are/were 16 of us- 1st cousins, 6 have already died. That's not including our 7 aunts/uncles plus 2 ex aunts as well. And then there are the grandparents. And a few extra deaths as well!

I use to think that funeral homes were the place our family had for family reunions!

Jesse Tree!

2009-08-16T18:07:00.002-04:00

Well, it's official! I've done and signed up to make an ornament for the Jesse Tree- with one of my yahoo groups. And to tell the truth- I'm kinda excited about it! I'm (we're) crafting the lion for Lion of Judah/.

Israel’s blessing and prophecy on Judah (lion), Read Genesis 49:1-2,8-12
For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee in their
hands, that thou hurt not thy foot against a stone. Thou shalt go upon the lion and adder: the young lion
and the dragon shalt thou tread under thy feet. Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I
deliver him; I will set him up, because he hath known my Name.
Psalm 91

That's my little piece of it.

Actually, I've been toying with the idea, of seeing if my co-op would like to make a Jesse Tree exchange as well. But I'm not sure if they do those types of things. I wonder?

So, if you know me in real life, and would be interested in this-let me know!

I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date...

2009-08-12T07:50:00.003-04:00

Unfortunately, that's how the last several days have seemed around here! I feel like the White Rabbit spinning my wheels yet not getting anywhere. Today, has already proven to be more of the same.

A stuck garage door at 6:30a.m.? What? It doesn't help that I had just crawled out of bed to take B to driver's training. YES, that is early- but he had driving time scheduled. And guess what- the instructor charges them money if they are late! And will leave with out them! So- there I am hopping about trying to figure out what to do. I have to admit- I thought about driving the van through the door- but thought dh might frown on that. So...

Dh came to the rescue! It's great to have your very own hero in your house! But shh... don't tell him that! He is a wonderful man! He keeps his cool, figures out the door, and gets us out in time for B to make it on time to DT! (Okay- so I did maybe fly down 24- but B still made it in time.)
It's truly a blessing to be married to the best possible man in the world-for me!

Well, now I need to be that rabbit again and get hopping. This time I'm off to WW for leader training!

Hop
Hop
Hop!

I survived!

2009-08-03T13:08:00.002-04:00

Phew~! Back from my visiting-am so glad to be back home. It's not like I don't love our parents, but am so glad that I'm home! Now, I just need to get everything back on track. Until then- you'll just have to make due with these little notes every now and then!

Running crazy...

2009-07-21T17:50:00.001-04:00

Ever have one of those days that just never seems to end- well, today's the day! I've just gotten home after 3+ hours of doing nothing! Or at least it felt that way! I coulda been scrapping!

Guilt...

2009-07-20T13:22:00.002-04:00

guilt

–noun

1.	the fact or state of having committed an offense, crime, violation, or wrong, esp. against moral or penal law; culpability: He admitted his guilt.

2.	a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.

conduct involving the commission of such crimes, wrongs, etc.: to live a life of guilt.

Well that's the definition!

So what is my crime? My crime, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is having moved away from my parents. Yes! I did it. I confess! I am not in my parents backyard. I don't live in the same town (village really) where I grew up. And to be totally honest- I Do NOT want to.

Does that make me a rebel? I sincerely doubt it- but I do like to try! But why oh why, do they (the parents) try and lay the guilt on me at every opportunity? Isn't it enough that I am planning a visit? I'll be with them for 3 days.

And while I'm there- I can assure you that both of my brothers will be there as well. One with his children and dog. The other with his wife and dog. And it'll all be at the same time! I do enjoy seeing them, but everyone squished into my parents house, is a bit much after a while.

My question for you-ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is why do I let them get to me? I'm a grown woman- but these people can still push my buttons. :(

Oh, and wouldn't they hate to learn, that the job hunt has started again- who knows where I'll end up.

Guilt! I'm done with it- or at least I'm trying to be!

Gears of War?

2009-07-16T17:20:00.017-04:00

Ever hear of it? Well, having a male teenager about the house- I am more then familiar with it. But did you know that it's soon to be made into a movie? Yes- that 's right, a major motion picture! And well, I just figure I'll help the casting director along. Here are my choices for the movie!

Starting at the top-Vin Diesel-at 6' even and with a chest to die for. He's an easy shoo in for

Marcus Fenix

Now Mr. Rhames- also at 6', would easily fill the role of

Tai Kaliso

Dwayne Johnson- at 6'5- and man of muscle-

Dominic Santiago

Michael Clarke Duncan- another 6'5 man of steel-

Augustus Cole

And finally, there is Liev Schreiber at 6'3 as

Damon Baird

Well, those are my thoughts for the new Gears Movie. Guess, we'll just have to wait to see what the casting director comes up with.

Hmm... maybe tomorrow, I'll try my hand at an Evanovich book! :)

Day 2- of starting again!

2009-07-16T15:16:00.001-04:00

I've remembered to come back and try to think of something witty to say- unfortunately witty is escaping me at the moment. So...I'll try again later.

Start over!

2009-07-15T08:15:00.002-04:00

Something needs to give! I need to find the time to try and keep up with this lovely little blog. I always wanted to blog before I got this one. But now look at it. The poor little thing has been left alone and rejected.

So- I'm going to try again! Start fresh and give it a go! I can do this!

So let's see what happens tomorrow!

Right, write?

2009-05-21T13:10:00.003-04:00

Well, since life is all becoming normal to me, :) I'm needing to devote some time and energy to my writing. I actually edited my first page yesterday! And it wasn't as horrible as I hat envisioned. But then again, it was fairly well written.

Now however, I'm getting into the stuff that isn't as good as I like. Problem is that I've seen it play out a few different ways and have to see actually how it happens. I just need to sit down and go for it. So, instead of hanging here and entertaining you all- I'm off to write, right?!

Thought for the day: Free Hugs! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

http://www.freehugscampaign.org/

Take a look- free hugs are always good! And I love them!

LIfe is Good!

2009-05-20T07:49:00.002-04:00

It's wonderful what the space of 1 day can do. My doctor's appointment, which I had dreaded, turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I have been freed of the shackles! My heart- which I indeed have, don't listen to my brothers, is functioning well within normal ranges! So I'm good to go and beginning life again.

Yet, I am hopeful that this experience has taught me the lessons that I have needed. And I am also hopeful that I will grow from this experience in the way God has envisioned. And I hope that you too-will follow the path which God has set before you.

Well, I'm off to write so more to come later.

Let me leave you with:
Thought for the day: Blue Skies!

It's a beautiful morning...

2009-05-19T07:39:00.002-04:00

Phew! After yesterday, it wonderful to see the the sun breaking the horizon. Yesterday, was a tough day- at least mentally. Here's hoping that today will be much brighter. And I hope that your day is also filled with things to make it a bright and happy day for you.

What I need to focus on- is beginning to write again. Why? Because, it is my addiction. I love to write- I can't say that my writing is any good. But I need to do it. And I've been doing it for years. Since I was 10, I think.

My only issue is that I rarely, if ever finish it. Once I know where my story is headed, I begin to lose interest in the characters. That tells me that my characters aren't that well defined. But...my last 2 stories have been plaguing me. The characters, won't die quietly like those before them. They keep whispering to me, calling me back to them. And I keep coming up with more ideas for them as well.

Here's the problem: I'm afraid to finish. How's that for the truth? What if I put my heart and soul into this novel and then come to the conclusion that it stinks? What if my beloved characters are better left to entertain me strictly in my mind? Is it fair to them, to force them to come out and play in the world?

Perhaps, they would be happier out- but they are my babies. I don't want to see them suffer- well as far as I'm not the one designing the suffering. Am I ready to let go of them and to let them grow?

I know that I need to free them- but I'm scared. It's like watching your child grow into an adult. But IRL there isn't nothing you can do to prevent it.

I guess, I can start my basic editing and see where that gets me.

Thought for the day: Blank Sheet of Paper. (Think of it as fresh, white, a new start waiting to happen!)

Google is evil...

2009-05-18T16:18:00.002-04:00

Okay, maybe google really isn't evil- but the information that you can get from it certainly can be! Googling health issues isn't really for the faint of heart-or for anyone that has a tendency to scare easily.

Fortunately, I don't scare all that easy. Although, now I am truly thinking that ignorance is bliss! I get that now, I do- really! With all my wonderful heart problems- I've taken everything day by day. Assuming that tomorrow, we will find the solution, and everything will be better. Only thing is, it doesn't look like tomorrow will come.

It looks as if this cardiomyopathy is for life. It's not like a cold that you can get over. It'll always be there- and well, sometimes, that just sucks. Today is one of those sucky days. The realization that this will be with me forever just slapped me in the face. Will I have to change to accomidate it? I don't know yet- I'll probably find out tomorrow when I talk with my cardio.

Sometimes, I just want to quit. To forget all about it- to let it all go. Those are the down days. And sometimes I do.

But I guess, I'm a fighter-so I pick myself back up and trudge on. Life is a precious gift, and sometimes it takes something like a health scare to remind us of that. That each day that we have on earth is a gift from God. That I need to let those around me know how special that they are to me. And you should too.

Fortunately, I had a great role model-in trudging onward. And letting the love of God shine through. Perhaps one day, I'll tell you about her.

Thought for the Day: Sunshine!

Human Pin Cushion?

2009-05-16T15:19:00.003-04:00

Another day, another medical test. I'm hopeful that this will be the last, and provide the answer that my cardio is looking for. If not, well then, I hope that God continues to give me the strength to carry on. The sad thing is that it really hasn't been that much. Not compared to what others have gone through or are even going through. My issues are small. Remember that God doesn't give us more then we can handle. Although, I have to admit at times the burden does feel heavy.

Writer's Block

2009-05-14T09:08:00.002-04:00

Gee- hard to believe that you can have writer's block on a blog! Impossible you say? Not hardly. It seems to be a frequent problem in my world. I have numerous ideas- but fail to keep focused. Ideas, come flowing through my mind- like drops of rain- here for but a minute then gone from sight.

I had hoped that, bloggin would permit me to gather my thoughts in a more organized manner. Instead, I've got the ideas, that dance through. But lack the determination to hold them long enough to write them.

Perhaps with time, I shall find the trick and relate the depths of my mind. Be warn dear reader, it can be a very unique place.

Blogging 101

2009-05-13T17:08:00.004-04:00

This blogging is a bit more difficult then I had imagined. I thought I'd just plop myself down in front of my computer and let the words flow. It's not that the words don't come, they do and in great measure. My fear is that I will somehow offend someone with the words that I use. And that my dear reader- is something that I have no desire to do.

I catch myself holding back, not broaching subjects that I find personally fascinating or deeply moving. And even those that I broach, I tend to try to reign in. Which if you know me- isn't a very easy thing. I have a great deal of passion, and believe in freeing it.

So for those of you that have blogged or are currently doing it. Kuddos to you- you have made it look easy, and for that I thank you. Now, I need to find the correct balance- of being myself and speaking my mind, but drawing a line which doesn't hurt others.

Crazy....crazy for feeling so blue

2009-04-30T18:55:00.000-04:00

Don't really feeling much like talking today. Which is unusual for me. I usually run at the mouth quite a bit.

I feel rather reflective today. My mind seems to be chasing after memories of those who have gone before me. It seems as if the dead are whispering in my ear. Speaking of remembrance. I listen to them. Hearing their voices which have long since faded from my memory.

They give me peace. In loving them, I have experienced the world.

Thought for the day: Jellybeans! They make me smile. And perhaps will bring me out of my melancholy.

It's the end of the world as we know it....

2009-04-27T09:19:00.000-04:00

It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!

I don't have much to say. My mind isn't really in the game. I keep thinking about tomorrow. It's not end of the world- but I get a bit nervous when I have to go to the hospital. I'm also feeling a bit boring. And conceited too. I keep focusing on me. And that doesn't feel right, but until everything is sorted out. I guess, it's okay to be a little selfish.

Thought for the day: Just stop and listen. Sometimes God will speak to you in those quiet moments.

St. Thomas Sunday

2009-04-26T19:38:00.000-04:00

Okay sue me- it isn't a song title or lyric!

But today we celebrated St. Thomas Sunday. And as many of you probably already know- St. Thomas is know for his doubt. You know, a doubting Thomas. But in the Eastern Orthodox Church instead of doubt Thomas is seen for his belief. When beholding the Risen Lord-and touching his wounds he had a fierce belief.

After his doubt was crushed. St. Thomas traveled and founded the churches in Palestine, Mesopotamia, Parthia, Ethiopia and India. His true faith in our Lord, led him to be a faithful follower. And it was in India that he met a martyr's death.

Fr. Deacon, gave a very moving sermon speaking of Thomas and his doubt. And the doubt that we as logical people may encounter in our lives. It's not doubt that causes us to stumble, it is our inability to seek the answer to the questions that plague us. When we fail to grow in our faith. Our doubt can make our faith stronger. It is disbelief that will destroy us.

Did you realize that it wasn't just Thomas who doubted Jesus? Check out Luke 24:38. All had doubt until the beheld Him.

So our Good Thought for the Day: Even doubt can be used for good.

He Went to Sleep - the Hogs Ate Him

2009-04-25T09:23:00.000-04:00

I'm blaming the title on a friend! She had to be all talking about dirty and gardens and all. And well, that pulls me back to fond memories of my childhood!

And since I've been keeping with Song Titles/lyrics as a title. Thought I'd continue! So who else has ever heard this song? Not to many- unless you grew up listing to bluegrass! This one has been preformed by the Stanley Brothers. And yeap- I know it. Use to sing the refrain to my daddy on occasion! He'd just smile and put up with us.

IN case you haven't heard it-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HH6qmCO-YzE

Can't help it- this song just brings a smile to my face!

So that's my thought for the day: SMILE!!!

Hugs!

What will this day be like? I wonder....

2009-04-24T13:54:00.000-04:00

Wow! I just hopped about on my friends blogs! Theirs are so beautiful looking. And here mine sits. So sad and lonely, like how I feel sometimes. But I've decided to not only beautify my blog- but to try and do so for my life too!

So here goes- one good thought for the day.

At least I'm not you- reading this boring blog! :)

Okay- that was my attempt at humor. It's been lacking in my life for a while, and well, I need to get it back! (Okay- maybe not the corny stuff- but you get the idea.)

But I keep thinking what can I blog about? I've decided to just let come what comes and hope for the best. So this blog is me- warts and all. So love me or hate me- it's me.

Good Thought for the day: The puffy clouds give me happy memories of childhood. How about you? I saw a sleeping angel.

All You Need is LOVE

2009-04-16T19:32:00.000-04:00

Love is all you need. I think that perhaps that the Beatles knew what they were talking about. I'm nearly done with Holy Week, in the Eastern Orthodox Church. And the prevailing message is LOVE. Love your God, Love you neighbor, Love one another.

It doesn't sound all that difficult now does it? Yet somehow, we mere mortals have an innate ability to screw it up. Or perhaps are selfish nature overrides our desire to follow Christ example. Are you putting yourself first or your neighbor? Perhaps, if we could all learn to smash self and love each other the world will be a better place.

But where to start? With me.

Hugs!

The Beat Goes On...

2009-04-15T08:27:00.000-04:00

Or so it may seem. It's hard to believe that within the confines of 4 short weeks one can go from one extreme to another. Welcome to my world.

According to my cardiologist, I'm interesting. My brother's uptake, is at least I have a heart- big surprise to him! Gotta love little brothers- they help keep life focused. But to me- it means deep thought. I'm not ready to dwell into the depths of my thoughts yet. Right now, I'm just focusing on getting these problems all solved and sorted out.

But the thoughts are there, dancing about my mind, asking the hard questions that I don't want to hear. Only time will tell, if I will be willing to free them to the world.